It has been a while since I posted a blog. I have had a busy week and once the deadly duo comes home from school, my day morphs into their afternoon and evening.
Valentines Day was last Monday, but we celebrated it on the weekend because of Tax Season. On Friday night Dave brought me home a beautiful planter, and Saturday night he brought me flowers and a balloon.
On Sunday, Dave and I exchanged cards, plus I got him”The Girl with the Dragon Tatto0″ by Stieg Larsson, on cd. ‘This series was great to read. During Tax Season, Dave likes to listen to audio books during the long drive to and from work. Right now he is listening to “Shantaram” by David Gregory. This book is over 1,000 pages long, or 36 discs, yet it is an excellent read, one of my all time favorites. We gave Hunter & Hayley a card plus a small gift. We would have had a mutiny here if we didn’t give them something. EVERY DAY for the past 3 years when Hunter walks into the house after school, the first words out of his mouth are, “Did you get me a surprise? Did I get mail?” Now I will admit I do get Hunter & Hayley something from time to time and surprise them after school. And because Hunter dearly loves to read (non-fiction only), we do order books from Amazon that are sent to the house. BUT he doesn’t even get something every week or month for that matter. Hayley is on the gift bandwagon as well. She loves to open gifts, even other people’s. When we went to Florida after Christmas, Katie had many beautifully wrapped presents placed neatly under the Christmas tree. They all had pretty shiny paper and homemade bows. It looked like the tree should have been in a magazine. There were gifts for us but also gifts for people that needed to be shipped. I don’t think we were in the house 10 minutes before Hayley ran over, picked up a present and we hear RIIIIIP. It was open, since it wasn’t for her, Hayley tossed it back under the tree and walked away. After 1 day, we removed the presents to the extra bedroom and locked the door. I need to say although the tree looked beautiful, you could not touch it, because if you did touch it even slightly, the needles would fall off and the ornaments would tumble to the ground. One time when Hayley was touching the tree this happened and Dave asked, “This tree is bone dry, when was the last time it was watered?” Bill was standing there and calmly replied, “oh about 2 or 3 weeks ago.” We were shocked (not that we should have been, Katie + Bill + plants = …….that’s for another story). Dave told Bill that he and Katie really needs to buy an artificial tree. Although the same thing happened the Christmas before, this year the tree was in extremely bad condition! Another reason they need an artificial tree is that it becomes so light that Hayley can toss the whole 7 foot tree across the room, lights, ornaments, the whole ball of wax. One afternoon half way into our stay, Hayley was having one of her REALLY BAD uncontrollable days. Dave told me to go out on the deck and read so I could get a break, he would watch the kids. Not even 10 minutes went by when I heard “CRASH” and Hayley hysterically laughing. I walked into the house, and there was the Christmas tree laying across the couch….Hayley was jumping up and down on the other side of the couch and Dave was just standing there staring. He was just across the room in the kitchen when Hayley popped out of her room and just threw the tree! Sooo Dave and I stood the tree back up, took the non broken ornaments and lights, put them in a box, took the broken ornaments and put them in another box to see if Katie can salvage any, and Dave dragged the tree out on to the deck and threw it over to the ground. I won’t even go into how long or how hard it is to clean up a million tree needles, especially when they are imbedded in the couch. Let’s just say, the Christmas before this one Hayley did push over the tree but we were able to bring it intact onto the deck where it stayed for the duration of the trip.
Many other things went on during the week. By biggest accomplishment was my diet and exercising. As of last Thursday, February 13th I had lost 12lbs! I exercised 6 out of the last 11 days, which is huge for me. I have gone to the gym twice a week for the weight training and when I am home I have done my treadmill here for 45 minutes to 1 hour. I am so proud of myself, I haven’t felt this positive or motivated for a very, very long time. I wish I went on medication much sooner. I was so very resistant to it. Finally, in December when I went to my family doctor absolutely falling apart, crying and crying, she told me that medication for depression is not a bad thing. I had been diagnosed clinically depressed, post-traumatic stress syndrome last year, but I wouldn’t listen to the Psychologist who kept urging me to go to a Psychiatrist to get on medication. I was so down and feeling helpless that I decided to find a Psychiatrist. The thing is, this was no easy task, every doctor I called had a 4 month plus waiting list! I didn’t want to wait this long. There was one more doctor to call, the office told me the doctor had a 4 month wait but could I explain what was wrong. After listing EVERYTHING, she said the doctor would call me back. I know God had a hand in this because not even 5 minutes later, the Psychiatrist called me, had me explain again, then told me she had a cancellation for the next day would I want to take it. YES! YES! I wanted to take it. That was 8 weeks ago, after tweaking the medications I know we are close to the perfect dose. I go back next week to see her. It took about 6 weeks to kick in but the results are amazing. I feel alive again, happy, I am starting to like myself. I want to take care of myself and be there for my family, my husband. I started almost 26yrs ago raising children, homeschooling, being faced with Austism, other issues that needed to be dealt with using tough love that we hope someday will work, etc. I decided to stop looking back and doing the, coulda, shoulda, woulda……face forward and start living each day again. Autism will never go away for us, but I can make choices on how to handle things in life. I am not expecting perfection, I am expecting to live life to the fullest for the first time in a looooooong time.