On May 28th, friends of ours from church got married.
Back in February they told us that they were going to be married in May and they would like to ask Hunter to be the ring bearer. My first thought was “what are you guys crazy” asking Hunter to be ring bearer had its share of risks and were they or even us, ready for them. Hunter’s Aspergers has him look at the world in black or white, no gray area at all. He is rigid in his ways and definitely resistant to any type of change, so when the day comes, he may perform or he might not, period. Any type of change during the rehearsal or ceremony could absolutely have Hunter going off the deep end. So after taking a deep breath I told them to go ahead and ask Hunter.
They did ask him and he was clueless to what a ring bearer was or a wedding for that matter. They patiently explained everything to him, to which he asked “can I carry Pikachu? He was told he would be carrying a pillow with the rings on top and that he could have Pikachu at the reception. Then he wanted to know if he could walk down the aisle like a penguin because he always wanted to be a penguin (you know, tuxedo = penguin). They said no he would have to walk normal but could be a penguin at the reception all he wanted. After taking this all in he said yes he would be ring bearer. I just kept thinking, they do not know what they are in for.
When the time came near, I brought him to be fitted for his tuxedo. He did very well at the fitting but I was really leery about Hunter wearing all those clothes plus real shoes. Boy, I thought, I am in for it.
The rehearsal came and Dave took Hunter as I had to stay home with Hayley because she was receiving therapy. When Dave got home from the rehearsal, he immediately asked for a glass of wine and collapsed on the swing on the patio outside. I asked Hunter how it went and he said ok. Then I asked Dave. He said it wasn’t horrible but it was as we thought, Hunter was not keen on all the changes that came and went. The wedding party decided early on that Hunter would not be capable of standing with the wedding party up at the altar for the ceremony. Hunter would walk down the aisle and sit with me in the front (although I really should be on the bride’s side of the church, I got to sit in the front row next to the grooms immediate family.) Anyway, Dave said Hunter accepted this pretty well, but then came the pillow…. Hunter for whatever reason got quickly attached to the pillow. He was told that when the pastor says it is time for the exchange of rings, he would walk up to the best man and hand him the pillow so he could retrieve the rings. Hunter flipped out! “I AM NOT GIVING UP THE PILLOW”! The Pastor told him that he didn’t have to give up the pillow, just make-believe. Then Hunter thought the rings would actually be on the pillow, when told no, that the best man will have the rings in his pocket and they would be making believe, Hunter yelled “ITS A FAKE!!!” Dave got Hunter calmed down and said now was the time to practice the processional. Hunter did extremely well walking down the aisle and sitting next to Dave. When the Pastor said it was time to exchange the rings, Hunter marched up the steps, got in front of the best man and yelled “YOU ARE A PILLOW SNATCHER!!!” Once again he sat next to Dave, who by this time was sweating profusely, and Hunter calmed down. Dave said to me after he got home “tomorrow is anyone’s game.”
The next morning came and we dressed Hunter in his tuxedo. He looked so adorable. I was really surprised he didn’t complain too much. The thing that was most uncomfortable for him were the shoes. He has never worn dress shoes before. I will say by the time we got to the reception that day, Hunter was sporting some mean blisters (yet he didn’t really complain), surprise, surprise. He was a little tough when pictures were taken before the wedding, but he got through it.
The wedding started and the bridesmaids came down the aisle. It looked as if Hunter was speed walking because he was right on top of the last bridesmaid and she had to keep looking back to be sure Hunter wasn’t going to step on her dress. He sat down next to me and I praised him. Hunter sat very quietly during the ceremony and I whispered what he needed to do when the ring exchange was announced. Now like I said before, Hunter is not used to any type of dress clothes or shoes. He had on tee-shirt, white shirt, tie, jacket, pants with clips on the side, socks and dress shoes. Well what I didn’t realize was that little by little Hunter was becoming “Un tucked it”. So as he walked up the stairs to the best man, his pants started to fall down! He grabbed the back with one hand and handed the pillow to the best man with the other. You could hear the chuckles in the crowd. The lady sitting behind me tapped me on the shoulder and said “there always needs to be a light moment in a wedding”. Hunter came back to sit with me and said “I saved my pants in the nick of time”. I was very, very proud of him and how her performed.
Once at the reception, Hunter took off the shoes, jacket and tie and danced the afternoon away………..holding Pikachu and making believe he was a penguin.
Dave helping Hunter get dressed
Hunter in his Tuxedo
Hunter and Daddy
Hunter and Hayley (she did excellent by the way)